Brenda Yoho

Explaining all of the needs of Grief

February 19, 2024

Hugs Help is a poignant and heartfelt journey through the grief of sudden loss, focusing on the experience of two daughters and their grandmother. Randy, the author, delicately navigates the depths of sorrow that accompany the loss of a child, offering solace and understanding to readers grappling with similar pain. Through raw emotion and tender storytelling, this book serves as a comforting companion for those in need of support during times of unimaginable loss.
Through 'Hugs Help,' Randy not only shares the journey of grief but also provides invaluable guidance on supporting those who are experiencing loss. With thoughtful insights and practical advice, the book offers readers several points on 'what to say' and cautions against the pitfalls of 'what not to say.' In a world where knowing how to support someone in their darkest moments is essential, Randy's words serve as a timely reminder for all of us to extend empathy, compassion, and understanding to those in need

Bernadette Schendel | Chapter Leader at Compassionate Friends

The Compassionate Friends of South Central MN was pleased to welcome Randy Stocker to speak at our grief support group. His honest approach to the challenges felt within a family after the death of loved one(s) enabled him to connect with everyone in the audience. Even those whose grief was decades old were able to acknowledge their grief in a productive way. It was powerful when he shared how each member of his family dealt with their own grief in very different ways. Sharing the knowledge that as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else, you can grieve in whatever way works for you. Many comments of appreciation were heard as others were encouraged on their own journey with grief. Bernadette S. Chapter Leader TCF South Central MN

Doug Schommer | Community Outreach Director at Visiting Angels-Rochester, MN

I met Randy Stocker early 2022 at a business networking group and listened to him tell his story while promoting his book Hugs Help. After the meeting I approached Randy purchased a copy of his book and set up a time to have a 1 to 1 meeting with him. Since then, I have asked him to come speak at a number of meetings and have found Randy to do a wonderful job of relating to a variety of audience while speaking about a very tough subject. As hard as this subject has to be for Randy to address, he keeps his presentations extremely professional and make sure he is helping others who may also be experiencing grief. I will continue to ask Randy to speak and recommend him 100%

Bill Hansen | Agent at Horace Mann Insurance

Randy suffered an unimaginable loss and created a gift for others. His book and his amazing way of speaking about his loss, is teaching others to learn to deal with their feelings and also helping friends of the grieving to communicate effectively and without feeling awkward. Randy helps break down the awkwardness and helps us communicate and to break free of the old adage of suppressing feelings and keeping them bottled up. His insight and words show us how to grieve, how to let those feelings out and to help sort out and share feelings with each other. I highly recommend both the book and any opportunities to hear him speak. Bill Hansen Horace Mann Insurance Rochester MN

Margo Stich | Officer at PEO Women's Group

After meeting Randy Stocker, it was clear to me that his healing journey, following the tragic loss of his mother and two daughters in a single accident, had led him to the point where he wanted to support others by sharing what he learned about his grief experience. As a speaker and author, he is personally revealing as he describes what he and other family members went through following their loss. Randy shares lessons learned during his journey and offers many take-aways for listeners and readers of "Hugs Help", whether for handling their own loss and grief or for compassionately supporting others in their journey with such. After attending a presentation by him, I recommended him as a presenter for a women's group of which I am a member. In both instances, he quickly captured the attention of the audience. His delivery and material presented elicited shared stories and experiences, to which Randy responded in a caring, compassionate manner. I certainly recommend him as a speaker. As for his book, "Hugs Help", it is indeed packed with helpful suggestions for both griever and caregiver.

Then he effectively was able to bring the audience into discussion of their experiences. Participants in this group gave praise to Randy in being able to touch their hearts and assist on their journey of healing. They requested that Randy present to future courses that I and my co-leader offer in the future.  

Each member also stated the book "Hugs Help" was right on and useful to them. 

Keep on sharing your message, Randy!

All the best to you and yours!

Co-Leader, Trauma Reboot

Marilyn K Baker MA RN 

"I was fortunate to attend an excellent 5-week workshop presented by Randy and Char a few years ago when I was early in my loss.  It really was practical, personal and really the beginning of my healing.  It was great comfort in hearing others share their personal feelings and realize I was not alone in my grief. 

I joined a widows' group, and we are currently reading together Randy's book "Hugs Help".  It has sparked wonderful dialogue with others experiencing grief and causes us to believe we can heal even if we are forever changed.    The book has helped us be hopeful."

Faline Gossman

Widower's Group

Resurrection Church

Rochester, MN

Thank you, Randy.

Kali Aldrich | Membership Director at Rochester, MN Chamber of Commerce

“Randy has the drive and gratitude to share his story with others. He shares his story to educate people on what grieving is and provides ways to adapt through new life paths through a devastating loss. If you are ever in need of a speaker for any conference, Randy will leave the crowd with valuable information and resources, whether it be grieving practices, ways to help those who are grieving, and more. Since I met Randy, he has introduced me to new people and has broadened my network. He is passionate, caring, and strives for success. I consider him as more of a friend and mentor rather than a business client. Thank you, Randy, for all that you do!” - Kali Aldrich, Rochester Area Chamber of Commerce

Anthony Zucco | Agent at American Family Insurance

Randy shared his story with me and my group recently. He did a wonderful job presenting and engaged me the whole time. Over the past week since he spoke, I have shared his story with two other people. I think differently on how to support and get through tough times based on his experience. Anthony Zucco American Family Insurance Rochester, MN

Doug GIllard | Loan Officer at Prime Lending

I lost my baby sister to lung cancer 03/20/20 and I miss her everyday! She never smoked, loved her husband and 5 children and 11 grand babies and was very active in the church and looking forward to retirement. When she found out it was terminal, She said to me “ God, why me?” how do you answer a questions like this and how do you not be angry with God? I met Randy at a BNI meeting and purchased his book Hugs Help, this book was enlightening and so helpful as I try to deal with the loss of my sister and somehow keep our family together! Doug Gillard Prime Lending Rochester, MN

Carol Sellack | Treasurer at Headwaters Center for Lifelong Learning

“Share a story with me about the loved ones I lost.” “Share a story and have a good cry.” Randy Stocker, author of Hugs Help, explained that no one can tell you how to grieve. Grief is ugly, messy and emotional. Intermingled with Randy’s lists of Good Advice, Bad Advice, What to Say, and What Not to Say, Randy shared loving stories of the three family members he lost, in an instant, because of a careless truck driver, almost 20 years ago. We grieved with Randy as he often mentioned the names of his mother, “Jean,” and his two daughters, “Jenelle” and “Amy.” Randy is not the same person as he was before his loss . . . something important for the caregiver to be aware of. What can a caregiver do? Sharing a story about the loved one with the griever helps . . . and hugs always help.

LuAnn Beuchler, CMP | Owner at PMC Events and Coaching

I highly recommend Randy Stocker and his message that educates people about grief and grieving. He was “right on” during his presentation with his topic about most people being uncomfortable when trying to comfort a griever. He shared his own heartfelt story and delivered both common sense and practical advice to our group. I would recommend him as a speaker to any group—large or small. His grief ministry is much needed in our world today! LuAnn Beuchler, CMP PMC Events and Coaching Rochester, MN

"Randy Stocker is an enthusiastic, emotionally grounded speaker, whose life experiences have led him to a deep understanding of the issues we face surrounding grief. I have known Randy for two years and have had ample opportunity to witness his skills in presenting before groups both large and small. In a world where grief and grieving, like many other human conditions, are rarely discussed, Randy brings great intelligence and a warm sense of humanity to this most difficult of topics. Whether suffering from grief themselves or "merely" wrestling with how to comfort a close friend or relative, Randy's insights make this process that much easier. He will be a delight to have in front of any group."

Hal Cropp

Producing Artistic Director

Commonweal Theatre Company

Randy is a passionate and effective speaker. He is able to convey the emotions, experiences, and sciences of grief in a concise presentation.

Dr. Jengyu Lai, DPM

Rochester Clinic

Rochester, MN